"My thoughts exactly." Her nose wrinkles at the smoke, dropping away from him to go and lay the clothes out on a rock nearby to let them dry in the sun.
"Perhaps - once." She shakes her head, old memories, an old role, things she cannot afford ( literally and figuratively ) to be anymore. "I did not take the black water up immediately. Sir Bors de Ganis gave it to me, when he died on the walls of Jhansi. He... said to me, he asked me if this fight would never be done. He said he was too tired for it. That I had a fate, that it was obvious." She shakes her head, swallowing. His face bathed in blood, and maybe a sip would save him though it seemed unlikely in how the cannonball had ripped through his chest and the lycan that was dead at his feet, but he pressed the vial into her hands and told her to make that choice herself.
She hadn't buried him, there had been no time. She had to flee, had to get everyone out that she hadn't already. She would lose her father that night, too. "It wasn't until Gwalior that I drank it myself. Not for immoralities sake. I was bleeding, I knew I was dying. All I could think was - I could not let the English have my body. I could not let the Half-Breed's devour the whole world. So I didn't." It's all very serious, and she tries to lighten it. "Devi - my... second in command. She said it was because I didn't know how to die. That it would be like giving up and I didn't know how to bend. Not that ruling is anything but bending, just... differently."
no subject
"Perhaps - once." She shakes her head, old memories, an old role, things she cannot afford ( literally and figuratively ) to be anymore. "I did not take the black water up immediately. Sir Bors de Ganis gave it to me, when he died on the walls of Jhansi. He... said to me, he asked me if this fight would never be done. He said he was too tired for it. That I had a fate, that it was obvious." She shakes her head, swallowing. His face bathed in blood, and maybe a sip would save him though it seemed unlikely in how the cannonball had ripped through his chest and the lycan that was dead at his feet, but he pressed the vial into her hands and told her to make that choice herself.
She hadn't buried him, there had been no time. She had to flee, had to get everyone out that she hadn't already. She would lose her father that night, too. "It wasn't until Gwalior that I drank it myself. Not for immoralities sake. I was bleeding, I knew I was dying. All I could think was - I could not let the English have my body. I could not let the Half-Breed's devour the whole world. So I didn't." It's all very serious, and she tries to lighten it. "Devi - my... second in command. She said it was because I didn't know how to die. That it would be like giving up and I didn't know how to bend. Not that ruling is anything but bending, just... differently."