"Get him out? Shit." Daryl pulls a hand-rolled cigarette from the inside of his jacket, lights it with an ancient match. It's story-time now, apparently. Hell, if it'll calm the girl down, he can talk about Merle. "Time I got there, he'd taken over the station, shootin' people on the roof. High as a fuckin' kite off the evidence locker."
He turns to her, conspiratorial, the way Jude used to like. "If you're my niece, you ain't his. Wouldn't wish that on anybody."
Abby wrinkles her nose up when he lights the cigarette. She doesn't actually say anything but she doesn't really need to, especially when she folds her arms across her chest sanctimoniously. One eyebrow raises in reaction to this story.
"Me'n Merle? Nah, I loved him, back then. I was... different. Just as much a sumbitch as him."
Daryl ignores Abby's disapproval; it's kind of funny, in a way. Jude used to give him shit about cigarettes, too, but these ain't got no tar in them, and more cloves than he strictly enjoys. He just likes having something to do with his hands.
"Fourteen years older'n me, and a marine, and in a biker gang, taught me how to hunt, how to survive. Treated everybody like shit, but I didn't know no better."
A long drag on the cigarette leads to a low, slow exhale of pure smoke. "You learn plenty about the world, when you move out from where you been."
She likes the way he says Merle, his accent drawling. It's how you'd say Daryl in his voice too, taking a drag on the r, the yl becoming almost nonexistent in the process. Fourteen years older than me- so Daryl is a younger brother.
Abby doesn't know anybody who has a sibling. Anybody who has a kid during the apocalypse usually isn't dumb enough to repeat the same mistake twice.
"Where is he now?"
And, "Is that why you brought me out here? So you could have a turn at teaching people things?"
"Got bit," is all he says, all he has to say. The entire incident is decades past, at this point; it doesn't hurt as much as it used to, to talk about. Still doesn't mean he wants to go into detail.
He blows some smoke into the wind, watches it dissipate. He thinks about how to answer her.
"Out here 'cause you asked," he says, but that's not entirely true. If he wants the girl to be straight with him, he's gotta be straight right back. It don't guarantee nothing, but it's the best he can do.
"And... want you to have options. You know how to live out here, you don't gotta fall in with nobody. You don't need nobody. You can choose."
Abby makes a face when she hears that, a sort of pinched, sad expression, her jaw locking up. She doesn't say anything because what is there to say, exactly. Nothing he hasn't heard before from a thousand other people, and she hates pity besides, so. She just nods, and lets him drop it, watches his smoke curlicue into the wind and away. It stinks.
"Yeah," she says, a little scoff of a word, like she thinks he's joking. "But I can't just leave my friends."
Or maybe she could. They might be a lot better off there without her anyway, because the WLF will keep them safe, and... well, she knows that Manny likes it there, and his dad has found a good routine, and Mel is doing well in her labs.
Abby looks lost for a moment, a hesitation coming across her. She says (perhaps stupidly), "Don't you get lonely?"
He looks at the sky. From the position of the sun, they've got time to get somewhere safe. They've got time to talk. But instead, he tries to blow a smoke ring, because the smoke is clearly pissing her off. It takes three tries, but he gets it.
"Everybody gets lonely," he says. "I take up with people, sometimes. They leave, or I do." Or they die.
"Ain't nobody can make it alone no more. But I always got plenty of time to choose who I fall in with."
Abby would like to know: does he think that she is going to leave, eventually? Once all of this is done? Or does he think that she will stay? Because it sounds like that will make him leave, so, really, she has to resolve right now that, no matter what happens, she won't try to fall in with him.
She's not like Daryl anyway, not really. She can't imagine being alone like that, relying on nobody, it would be... sad, and too quiet.
He's forgotten the cardinal rule of kids: they always wanna know how things apply to them, how they fit into the big picture. Sometimes, Daryl wonders if he ever was a child. He can't remember ever wondering about this crap, but then, he's pretty sure he knew the answer to most of these questions. He just wished he didn't.
At least the answer to Abby's question is simple.
"You wanna leave, I ain't gonna crowd you. Gonna make sure you know how to live first, that's all. But I ain't gonna take you outta your whole damn life just to leave you by the side of the road."
Abby looks at him the entire time he's answering, staring at him, trying to read anything hidden behind his words. If it's there, she can't grasp it. He's never hidden much from her anyways, and most of the things she doesn't know about him are because she's never tried asking, so.
Yeah. She feels like she can trust him. And eventually, she nods. Her breath expels from her in a little puff when she sighs.
"Okay."
Kinda feels like they should shake on it, even? She doesn't want to be lame. Instead, she folds her arms, says, "Why me?"
This question requires a true answer, and that takes a moment. It's not that Daryl takes refuge in lies-- far from it, he's a horrible liar. But it's not always easy to pull the raw truth out of him in words others will understand. He's never been much of a talker.
"You... you didn't need 'em," he says, "your wolves. They needed you. Seemed like they'd use you up. Couple years... all you'd know how to do is kill."
Abby has to pause a moment just to digest this (and to keep herself from snapping at him, cuz it'll do them no good to start fighting hours out from the FOB).
"That's not a bad thing," she says eventually. There's trace amounts of sarcasm in there. She knows what he's getting at, but part of her objects so strongly to being told she doesn't need her friends that she can't help pushing back, "And everybody needs somebody."
It's nice, being needed.
returns from the grave sorry i was dealing with the agonies.
It's true, is the thing. Inescapably. He nods, mulling it over, his jaw working. It's his tell for when he's thinking, maybe a little too much. Sometimes the world is hard to understand, and he has to take time to process it, to line his words up like shots, to make sure they hit target.
"Mmmh, yeah," he says. "Gotta be the right people. Oughta be even, y'know? You ain't no dog."
Abby doesn't think that she's above him in any way, or below him, except for in age and lived experience. Not like she can catch up to him on that anyway, so should it count at all? He clearly thinks that it does. Abby is the one listening to Daryl, that's the whole reason he took her out here.
She's got a point. Daryl's set it up how he learned. Thing is, how he learned was... the best you could say about it is 'bad'. "Yeah," he says, "shouldn't be like that."
He sets his cigarette aside, snuffs it out so he can stick it back in his pocket. "I do something you don't like, you lemme know. I'll see if I can change it, okay?" In that moment, he's reminded painfully of words he gave to Jude. He shuts them up inside his head, tucked away like that cigarette.
He'll catch that she's surprised to hear him say that in the sudden lift of her eyebrows, and her eyes widening slightly. Abby is a solider, she's used to following orders. Hearing an adult course correct and admit that maybe he was wrong...
It feels more like she's dealing with the Fireflies, than the WLF. Maybe that's why Daryl sometimes seems familiar to her. Abby isn't mad at the feeling.
"Okay." Yeah. She'll do that.
Another glance at his map, and the bike nearby, "We... should get going."
He nods, stands, helps her up if she'll let him. It doesn't take much time to get back on the bike. "Make a straight shot for town," he says. "You're my niece, remember?"
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thanks i feel valid now
He turns to her, conspiratorial, the way Jude used to like. "If you're my niece, you ain't his. Wouldn't wish that on anybody."
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"You guys didn't get along, huh."
No shit. He sounds kinda wild.
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Daryl ignores Abby's disapproval; it's kind of funny, in a way. Jude used to give him shit about cigarettes, too, but these ain't got no tar in them, and more cloves than he strictly enjoys. He just likes having something to do with his hands.
"Fourteen years older'n me, and a marine, and in a biker gang, taught me how to hunt, how to survive. Treated everybody like shit, but I didn't know no better."
A long drag on the cigarette leads to a low, slow exhale of pure smoke. "You learn plenty about the world, when you move out from where you been."
no subject
Abby doesn't know anybody who has a sibling. Anybody who has a kid during the apocalypse usually isn't dumb enough to repeat the same mistake twice.
"Where is he now?"
And, "Is that why you brought me out here? So you could have a turn at teaching people things?"
no subject
He blows some smoke into the wind, watches it dissipate. He thinks about how to answer her.
"Out here 'cause you asked," he says, but that's not entirely true. If he wants the girl to be straight with him, he's gotta be straight right back. It don't guarantee nothing, but it's the best he can do.
"And... want you to have options. You know how to live out here, you don't gotta fall in with nobody. You don't need nobody. You can choose."
no subject
"Yeah," she says, a little scoff of a word, like she thinks he's joking. "But I can't just leave my friends."
Or maybe she could. They might be a lot better off there without her anyway, because the WLF will keep them safe, and... well, she knows that Manny likes it there, and his dad has found a good routine, and Mel is doing well in her labs.
Abby looks lost for a moment, a hesitation coming across her. She says (perhaps stupidly), "Don't you get lonely?"
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"Everybody gets lonely," he says. "I take up with people, sometimes. They leave, or I do." Or they die.
"Ain't nobody can make it alone no more. But I always got plenty of time to choose who I fall in with."
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Abby would like to know: does he think that she is going to leave, eventually? Once all of this is done? Or does he think that she will stay? Because it sounds like that will make him leave, so, really, she has to resolve right now that, no matter what happens, she won't try to fall in with him.
She's not like Daryl anyway, not really. She can't imagine being alone like that, relying on nobody, it would be... sad, and too quiet.
No gyms out the wilderness either, so.
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At least the answer to Abby's question is simple.
"You wanna leave, I ain't gonna crowd you. Gonna make sure you know how to live first, that's all. But I ain't gonna take you outta your whole damn life just to leave you by the side of the road."
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Yeah. She feels like she can trust him. And eventually, she nods. Her breath expels from her in a little puff when she sighs.
"Okay."
Kinda feels like they should shake on it, even? She doesn't want to be lame. Instead, she folds her arms, says, "Why me?"
Why's he doing this for her, anyway.
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"You... you didn't need 'em," he says, "your wolves. They needed you. Seemed like they'd use you up. Couple years... all you'd know how to do is kill."
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"That's not a bad thing," she says eventually. There's trace amounts of sarcasm in there. She knows what he's getting at, but part of her objects so strongly to being told she doesn't need her friends that she can't help pushing back, "And everybody needs somebody."
It's nice, being needed.
returns from the grave sorry i was dealing with the agonies.
"Mmmh, yeah," he says. "Gotta be the right people. Oughta be even, y'know? You ain't no dog."
i understand completely
Abby doesn't think that she's above him in any way, or below him, except for in age and lived experience. Not like she can catch up to him on that anyway, so should it count at all? He clearly thinks that it does. Abby is the one listening to Daryl, that's the whole reason he took her out here.
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Has he been a tyrant to this girl? He needs to rethink his approach.
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She's not mad about it, somebody fucking has to be. You do what you have to do to get it done.
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He sets his cigarette aside, snuffs it out so he can stick it back in his pocket. "I do something you don't like, you lemme know. I'll see if I can change it, okay?" In that moment, he's reminded painfully of words he gave to Jude. He shuts them up inside his head, tucked away like that cigarette.
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It feels more like she's dealing with the Fireflies, than the WLF. Maybe that's why Daryl sometimes seems familiar to her. Abby isn't mad at the feeling.
"Okay." Yeah. She'll do that.
Another glance at his map, and the bike nearby, "We... should get going."
no subject